the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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