how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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