ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
it's great music for shaving your balls
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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