we're chasing vodka with high fives
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
