..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
