my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
