Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Gay?
German.
Pity.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
