yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
