Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
