Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
kristin has been a bad kristin
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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