ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
