she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
