Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
