A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Randomize
