I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
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