a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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