I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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