I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
