Just cropdusted the office
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
