Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I have so many feelings about this burrito
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
