I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
