told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
why do cheetos always look like penises
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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