You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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