super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
