I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
