So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Randomize
