Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
