Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Randomize
