You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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