Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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