i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
