you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
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