At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
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