Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
