Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
