Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
