she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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