8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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