hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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