eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
