Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
