I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Four minutes until I can fart!
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
