I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Randomize
