So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
