She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
