And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
two words...techno handjob
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
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