census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Randomize
