My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
