eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
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