It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
